SpongeBob SquarePantsis one ofthe greatest Nicktoons by a mile, and its first three seasons are the biggest reasons why. Largely considered the final season of the show’s Golden Age, season three has plenty of classics that rival the comedic absurdity of the previous two. SpongeBob (Tom Kenny) befriends the Tattletale Strangler, camps right outside his house with Squidward (Rodger Bumpass) and Patrick (Bill Fagerbakke), tries to sell chocolate with Patrick, and so much more.
Season three tends to have weirder, slightly more ambitious stories than the previous seasons. There is a mockumentary episode, an episode that takes place in prehistoric times, one that ends with a guy in a gorilla suit riding off into the sunset on another guy in a horse costume, and a half-hour special about a lost episode. The gorilla thing feels pretty contrived, but the point is that things get as wild in season three as ever (usually for the best)—which makes it pretty hard to choose which ten segments are the greatest. Although it’s subjective at the end of the day,the ten best episodes of season three are as consistently hilarious, surprising, and full of the show’s upbeat surrealism as fans could hope for.
SpongeBob SquarePants
10’Ugh" or “SpongeBob B.C. (Before Comedy)”
Season 3, Episode 14
“Ugh” is also known as “SpongeBob B.C. (Before Comedy),” a special half-hour installment that’s hosted by none other than Patchy the Pirate. The viewer ventures back in time to when SpongeGar, Patar, and Squag were neighbors with the exact same social dynamic as their eventual descendants. They speak primitive gibberish, and yet the viewer can get the gist of their conversations based on their body language and tone.
When these three neighbors discover fire, they also discover the joys and dangers of cooking with it. Nevermind that they’re underwater; it’s a fun premise that delivers one of the greatest and most surprisingly intense allusions to2001: A Space Odyssey’s “Dawn of Man” sequence. In the meantime, Patchy has some trouble with a caveman and a futuristic robot. It’s one of the more experimental episodes, and all the more enjoyable for it.
9"Plankton’s Army"
Season 3, Episode 18b
Plankton’s a tech-genius. Ergo, the rest of his family must also be brilliant, right? Wrong. After inviting all his relatives over to hatch a plot that will finally get him the Krabby Patty formula, he finds they’ve all become hillbillies. Meanwhile, Karen shows why she’s one ofthe most underrated characters in the serieswhen she finds out what Plankton’s first name is and doesn’t let it go. There is power in numbers, so Plankton uses his enormous family to his advantage.
Great moments include Plankton getting reintroduced to every single one of his seemingly infinite relatives, Karen making Plankton’s family laugh hysterically, and Squidward guessing where the formula is. This is definitelyone of Plankton’s best episodes, and one of his most amusing attempts to retrieve the coveted formula. Mr. Krabs’s defense against this plan is fantastic, and certainly takes the audience by surprise.
8"No Weenies Allowed"
Season 3, Episode 8a
SpongeBob isn’t exactly the toughest guy in town. Despite his karate hobby, he’s weak, unintimidating, and too naive to know that The Salty Spitoon is not a place for him. The bouncer, Reg, suggests he try Weenie Hut Juniors: a place that’s just as child- and weenie-friendly as it sounds. Of course Patrick hangs out there, and it’s great to see the guys inside tell him to try a new hairdo. Even the sentient robot waiter makes a suggestion.
One of Patrick’s best quotesoccurs when he and SpongeBob pretend to fight in front of Reg. Also, the amount of success the Weenie Hut franchise has had in Bikini Bottom is striking. Another treat is watching someone with SpongeBob’s build and voice, but a totally different demeanor gets into The Salty Spitoon on his attitude alone. This episode is a fantastic example of why criteria for entry into certain places exist, and that getting what you want can cause a big slip-up (pun intended).
7"Club SpongeBob"
Season 3, Episode 2a
Squidward would be much happier if he didn’t get offended so easily by his neighbors. “The Camping Episode” is one great example, and “Club SpongeBob” is another. SpongeBob and Patrick make a club, but tell Squidward he can’t join. Insulted, Squidward climbs up the structure the two built, telling them they should be “begging” him to join. Little did he know that these two only told him that because there literally wasn’t enough room in the clubhouse.
Squidward is almost able to free himself, but instead turns the clubhouse into an enormous catapult that launches him and his neighbors into the jungle. Let the torture begin. Squidward loses his cool watching the other two club members use their magic conch shell for advice. It tells them to do nothing, and yet the unorthodox strategy pays off. Even viewers who don’t like the outdoors will worship the conch by the end of this episode.
6"Krabby Land"
Season 3, Episode 17a
Mr. Krabs notices that all the kids in town take their money to the playground during the summer, so he builds a theme park for The Krusty Krab. It’s called Krabby Land, and it’s worse than it sounds. Kids are immediately injured and disappointed on the opening day. To keep them around, he has SpongeBob entertain them while he fetches Krabby the Clown. SpongeBob discovers that enduring physical pain is the only way to wow the crowd, leading to some spectacular injuries.
One of the series' best moments is when SpongeBob renames this sorry excuse for a clown “Cheapy the Cheapskate” with genuine tears in his eyes. Mr. Krabs has been cheap before, but he really outdoes himself this time—endangering his customers and most loyal employee just to make an easy buck. His comeuppance is one of the silliest in the show, capping off an installment that makes viewers want to send their compliments to the chef.
5"Can You Spare a Dime?"
Season 3, Episode 7b
Mr. Krabs cherishes all of his money, but there’s one dime that he holds particularly close to his heart. Apparently, Squidward loses it, but the angry employee claims innocence. The ensuing argument leads to Squidward quitting, which very quickly transitions from optimism to depravity. Spotting the ex-cashier living out of a box, SpongeBob takes him into his home and absolutely spoils him. It’s not often that Squidward expresses genuine thankfulness towards the yellow sponge, but it doesn’t last long.
He soon becomes an entitled brat who lies in bed all day and expects his devoted host to do everything for him. Usually, Squidward’s the more relatable one, but SpongeBob is definitely in the right here. It makes for a good change of pace, but it also leads to the narrator quitting and SpongeBob going absolutely (if understandably) berserk. The ending is perfect, too; hang in there, SpongeBob!
4"The Camping Episode"
Season 3, Episode 17b
Simple premise, surreal execution. SpongeBob and Patrick want to go camping, so they set up a tent right outside SpongeBob’s house. Squidward notices, and winds up joining them to show these two morons that he is just as outdoorsy as the next guy. What follows includes one ofthe best original SpongeBob SquarePants musical numbersand one of the most severe beatings in animation history.
“The Campfire Song Song” is fun, even for people who don’t generally like to spell. However, the biggest laughs come from the sea bear, whom Squidward coaxes from the wilderness because he thinks the species is a myth. Some things you have to learn the hard way, and the ridiculous list of things this particular animal hates never ceases to make the audience laugh. It makes the viewer wonder if the fish on the cover of that magazine actually married a sea bear, too. In any case, this isone of Squidward’s best episodesand surely one of the strongest from season three.
3"Chocolate with Nuts"
Season 3, Episode 12a
Scream “CHOCOLATE” at a SpongeBob fan, and they will know exactly what you’re referring to. The legendary episode “Chocolate with Nuts” is responsible, as SpongeBob and Patrick fancy themselves a couple of entrepreneurs and attempt to sell people chocolate bars the old-fashioned way: door to door. It comes as no surprise that these two don’t know squat about salesmanship, but the ways in which they fail are delightfully varied, out of left field, and side-splitting.
SpongeBob and Patrick get fooled by an experienced fraud, have trouble locating their product, over-compliment a customer, and more. The most famous bit is when someone obsessed with chocolate loses his cool and chases them around screaming the word that triggered him in the first place. This is one of the best episodes that showcase the colorful personalities around Bikini Bottom, and it also does a great job of sending up food companies' marketing strategies (stretch the truth!). Overall, this goes down as one ofthe most rewatchable stories in the entire series.
2"Krusty Krab Training Video"
Season 3, Episode 10b
This masterful parody of low-budget training videos with even lower standards is designed as if being shown to some new Krusty Krab employee in the future. All SpongeBob wants to do is make a Krabby Patty, and all Squidward wants to do is nothing; the contrast between their personalities and work ethics is never highlighted better. Watching Squidward sleeping in the restaurant bathroom is hilarious, but everything Squidward does is top-tier this time around.
The “I really wish I weren’t here right now” button, Patrick’s attempt to order from the menu, and the recurring tease to reveal the Krabby Patty secret formula are just a few of this marvelous episode’s highlights. Viewers also get a brief history of The Krusty Krab’s inception. By infusing the show’s absurdity into this unorthodox structure, “Krusty Krab Training Video” proves a truly unique and essential piece ofSpongeBoblore.
1"SpongeBob Meets the Strangler"
Season 3, Episode 20a
They say that no one likes a tattle-tale, but the infamous Tattletale Strangler especially hates them. He is known to strangle whoever tells on him, but SpongeBob didn’t know who he was when he reported the guy for littering. Unfortunately, despite a ridiculous amount of chains and being within spitting distance from the cops, he gets away (again). Bad news for SpongeBob. He doesn’t feel safe anymore, so he hires a bodyguard right off the street.
Little does he know that this “bodyguard” is just the strangler with a cheap novelty mustache. Ironically, the criminal can’t just strangle someone in broad daylight, so he tries to get SpongeBob alone. But the sponge has errands, parties, and a pair of spiky cleats that make The Strangler’s plan a lot more complicated than he anticipated. This is full-blown hilarity from start to finish, and the ending cements this as one ofthe all-time greats in the series' history.
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