It’s that time of year again whenChristmastrees are lit, stockings are hung with care, and gunfire breaks out inaction moviesthat take place near December 25. When choosing the best blood-soaked holiday film to put on so the in-laws leave earlier than planned, it’s best to make the most well-informed decision.Sure, a lot of films claim to be the most violentChristmas movie, but which one actually lives up to the hype?
There are many ways to measure what constitutes a violent Christmas film,but the simplest and most elegant way is a yuletide body count.While there are numerous horror films that take place on the holidays, the festive focus here is widened to anything and everything Christmas-related. Strap on your bulletproof vest and don your Santa hat, because we’re going to rank ten of the most violent Christmas movies by body count.
10’The Santa Clause' (1994)
Estimated Body Count: 1
Disney’sThe Santa Clauseis not a particularly violent film, but it deserves a mention for one very specific reason–Scott Calvin (Tim Allen) kills Santa. He doesn’t do it on purpose, but by distracting Santa and making him fall off the roof to his death,Scott is responsible for St. Nick’s death and takes his job.When Scott arrives back at the North Pole, none of the elves seem to care that the old boss is gone. It may be snowing outside, but in the workshop those elves are cold as ice.
The estimated body count was almost two, but the film doesn’t specifically say what happened to Mrs. Claus. When Scott is at the North Pole post Santa’s death, there is no Mrs. Claus, but as the sequel,The Santa Clause 2, points out,Santa must have a wife to continue his duties.So what happened to Mrs. Claus? Mrs. Clause was conceivably at home when the first Santa died, but Scott gets into an empty bed, so… the elves know something, and everyone will have to wait for Netflix to make a documentary about this and get answers.
The Santa Clause
When a man inadvertently makes Santa fall off his roof on Christmas Eve, he finds himself magically recruited to take his place.
The R-rated holiday comedyBad SantafollowsBilly Bob Thorntonas safe-cracker extraordinaire Willie, who poses as a mall Santa in order to infiltrate the shopping plaza’s security.Bad Santais one of the most wholesome violent movies with a body count of one, so althoughBad Santaand Disney’sThe Santa Clauseare essentially tied by body count, the overall adult content of the Thornton-starring comedy edges out as being more violent.
Bad Santawon audiences over with its pitch-black comedy and hilarious performances from Thornton and late comedianBernie Mac, to name a few. While there are numerous instances of violence, such as Thornton beating some underage bullies who are bothering the child he befriends,there is only one murder in the crime comedy. The profane comedy’s popularity endured for so long that a sequel was made 13 years later that didn’t live up to the wait. Even still,Bad Santais a must-watch every year for fans of Thornton.
In this dark comedy, the crotchety Willie T. Stokes (Billy Bob Thornton) and his partner (Tony Cox) reunite once a year for a holiday con. Posing as a mall Santa and his elf, they rip off shopping outlets on Christmas Eve. This year, however, Willie is falling apart. He’s depressed and alcoholic, and his erratic behavior draws the suspicion of mall security (Bernie Mac). But when befriending a small boy brings out his kinder side, Willie begins to wonder if there is still some hope for him.
8’Gremlins' (1984)
Estimated Body Count: 3, Estimated Gremlin Body Count: Hundreds
When Billy Peltzer (Zach Galligan) is gifted a strange and exotic pet by his inventor father, Randall (Hoyt Axton), they set a series of events in motion that will threaten to destroy their whole town. Featuring cute and not-so-cute puppetry for Mogwai Gizmo and the scaly green mutated secondary forms of theGremlins, the movie walks the fine line between afamily film and a horror feature.The sequel takes a much zanier approach to the source material, but the originalGremlinsattempts much darker moments.
The body count is questionable forGremlins,because although there are implied fatalities, much is left to the imagination.The audience only sees the body of Billy’s science teacher, the catapulting of mean Mrs. Deagle (Polly Holliday) through her window, and a deleted scene reveals the death of Billy’s bank manager boss. In the giving spirit of Christmas, the determination would be that everyone else lives, but the Gremlins were destroyed like lumps of coal in a stocking.
A young man inadvertently breaks three important rules concerning his new pet and unleashes a horde of malevolently mischievous monsters on a small town.
7’Black Christmas' (1974)
Estimated Body Count: 7
Of all the Christmas-themed horror movies, the originalBlack Christmaswas one of the more thoughtfully made entries.Black Christmasfollows a sorority housebeing stalked by a killer with a penchant for taunting the students with eerie phone calls. The film’s director,Bob Clark, also directed one of the most famous holiday movies, the 1983 family classicA Christmas Story(which has a body count of zero).
Black Christmasfocuses more on the building of tension than it does indiscriminate slaughtering,so a body count of seven is downright quaint compared to other violent Christmas movies.Black Christmaswould go on to have two reimaginings: an arguably darker and more grotesque version in 2006 starringKatie Cassidyand a 2019 entry that strayed from its slasher roots. Fans of slashers should check out the original if they’ve never had a chance to see one of the oldest and more subdued films in the genre.
Black Christmas
During their Christmas break, a group of sorority girls are stalked by a stranger.
6’Die Hard' (1988)
Estimated Body Count: 24
Thirteen terrorists. One cop. Endless Christmas memories.Die Hardtells the yuletide fable of New York City police detective John McClane (Bruce Willis) as he makes the trip out to L.A. to visit his estranged wife, Holly (Bonnie Bedelia), on Christmas Eve. The couple agree to meet at her office Christmas party, and as is tradition in L.A., robbers masquerading as terrorists take the party hostage.McClane manages to evade capture and proceeds to wage a one-man war on the lethal thieves.
It’s clear thatDie Hardis a Christmas moviebecause “Ho Ho Ho” is written on one of the dead terrorists—which is something that wouldn’t be featured in, say, aThanksgivingaction movie. The body count is a respectable 24 of mostly bad guys, but a few innocent bystanders and one coked-up executive don’t make it out unscathed.Die Hardis on theshortlist for the perfect action film, featuring a career-making performance byAlan Rickmanas the cold and calculating Hans Gruber. The sequels may vary in quality, but the original remains a modern classic.
New York City policeman John McClane (Bruce Willis) is visiting his estranged wife (Bonnie Bedelia) and two daughters on Christmas Eve. He joins her at a holiday party in the headquarters of the Japanese-owned business she works for. But the festivities are interrupted by a group of terrorists who take over the exclusive high-rise, and everyone in it. Very soon McClane realizes that there’s no one to save the hostages – but him.
5’Lethal Weapon' (1987)
Estimated Body Count: 31
Danny GloverandMel Gibsonpeel back the layers of a conspiracy in the sun-drenched surroundings of a Los Angeles Christmasin directorRichard Donner’sLethal Weapon. Detective Murtaugh (Glover) is saddled with a new partner, loose cannon Riggs (Gibson), after a new case hits close to home. If Riggs’ reckless behavior doesn’t get Murtaugh killed, the case will, but thankfully, the two men learn to work together and fight crime as a team.
Lethal Weaponisn’t necessarily a film that’s aged well in believability, but it’s good fun if the silliness is taken at surface value. 31 kills is high for two street detectives, but it’s a perfect starting point for the on-screen team of Riggs and Murtaugh.Lethal Weaponis one of the most successful action series,with 4 films and a brief but troubled television show. The action series would go on to establish a blueprint for how a successful buddy cop movie should flow, inspiring clones for decades to follow.
Lethal Weapon
4’Batman Returns' (1992)
Estimated Body Count: 38
Batman Returnsbrings back directorTim Burtonto put the Caped Crusader (Michael Keaton) against new villains, The Penguin (Danny DeVito) and Catwoman (Michelle Pfeiffer). Gotham City citizens do their best to celebrate Christmas, but it’s a struggle with Catwoman blowing up their buildings, and the Penguin trying to kill the firstborn children of the population. Thankfully, Batman is there to put an end to their evil plans andlight the occasional thug on fire with his car.
The body count may seem suspiciously high at 38, but this does take into account scenes where the Penguin crashes into a masquerade ball in explosive fashion and eight of Catwoman’s nine lives. Burton’s second chance to play within Gotham’s city limits ledto a more stylized approach the director was known for,making the film possiblytoo dark for itsintended audience of Happy Meal consumers.Strong performances from the entire cast and dark visuals makeBatman Returnsone of the most rewatchable entries in the earlyBatmanfilms.
Batman Returns
While Batman deals with a deformed man calling himself the Penguin wreaking havoc across Gotham with the help of a cruel businessman, a female employee of the latter becomes the Catwoman with her own vendetta.
3’Violent Night' (2022)
Estimated Body Count: 64
There have been countless murderous Santas in films, butViolent Nighthas their incarnation of Santa (David Harbour) killing in the name of good. A disillusioned St. Nick finds himself at odds with a group of deadly mercenaries after his reindeer leave him stranded in a house under siege. Led by a ruthless man known only as “Scrooge” (John Leguizamo), the mercenaries force Santa to channel his Viking past to free a family held hostage.
Violent is in the name of the title for a reason, with multiple kills in the neighborhood of 64 shown in a creatively brutal fashion. Of the many action set pieces, fans ofHome Alonewill finally see the real-world ramifications of homemade traps and how painful nails and bowling balls can be. However,Violent Nightisn’t all gratuitous violence, witha strong message about faith in the Christmas spirit and its ability to heal Santa’s bullet wounds.One thing is for sure: after watchingViolent Night, it’s likely audiences will never look at a sledgehammer or a tree topper the same way ever again.
Violent Night
When a group of mercenaries attack the estate of a wealthy family, Santa Claus must step in to save the day (and Christmas).
2’The Long Kiss Goodnight' (1996)
Estimated Body Count: 77
Geena Davisis an assassin with amnesia in the action-packedThe Long Kiss Goodnight. Davis plays Samantha Caine, a small-town schoolteacher raising a young daughterwhile still trying to recover her memories since she washed ashore pregnant eight years before. A car accident begins to waken her memories just as old employers from her past life begin to hunt her down. In an effort to protect her and her child’s lives, she teams with private eye Mitch Henessey (Samuel L. Jackson) to put her past truly behind her.
The kill count of 77 is earned through fantastic action sequences that see Samantha’s reawakened abilities make short work of her pursuers. Fans of Jackson who haven’t seenThe Long Kiss Goodnightshould add it to their must-watch list.The actor is at his vintage best, chewing scenery and appearing to have a great time doing it.Davis and Jackson have excellent chemistryand make good use of a witty script byShane Blackthat gives them laugh-out-loud lines.
The Long Kiss Goodnight
1’Iron Man 3' (2013)
Estimated Body Count: 92
Since the dawn of theMarvel Cinematic Universe, Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) has relied heavily on his Iron Man suit, building new ones for each impending threat.Iron Man 3pushes Tony to his limits,stranding the genius without his tech and forcing him to rely on his wits.He’ll need to act fast, though, as a new mysterious foe is causing explosive and deadly waves of destruction using a revolutionary new technology.
Iron Man 3not only has one of the highest body counts for a Christmas movie, butit also has one of the highest body counts for a Marvel movie— a franchise that featured half of the universe’s population disappearing. Director Shane Black is up to his old tricks, setting another film against the backdrop of Christmas, havingalso written the scriptsforLethal Weapon,The Long Kiss Goodnight, and many more action flicks in the same time period.Iron Man 3is a departure from the previous twoIron Manfilms in tone and pacing, a fact that divides fans of the series.
Iron Man 3
When Tony Stark’s world is torn apart by a formidable terrorist called the Mandarin, he starts an odyssey of rebuilding and retribution.
