Anybody who watched the beloved teen dramaOne Tree Hillknows that the show came with its fair share of heartache. Characters and audiences alike mourned the losses of Keith Scott, Quentin Fields, and even Dan Scott, and we followed their loved ones’ journeys of grief. One death, however, provided one of the best portrayals of mourning on television through the loss of Lydia James (Bess Armstrong). Adored and vivacious mother of Haley (Bethany Joy Lenz), Quinn (Shantel VanSanten), and Taylor (Lindsey McKeon), Lydia was diagnosed with incurable pancreatic cancer late in Season 7 and passed away a few episodes later with her daughters by her side. While all of Lydia’s loved ones processed her death differently, Haley’s grief and subsequent depression were the main focus of the plotline. By taking the time to showcase every high and low of Haley’s grief journey,One Tree Hillshows that there isn’t one correct way to mourn and reflects on how sometimes we have to learn to live with our grief rather than move past it.
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Haley’s experience with grief begins as soon as her mother informs her of her terminal cancer diagnosis and decision to forgo treatment. Always the problem-solver, Haley is immediately in denial and begins looking for second opinions from other doctors. She begs Lydia to fight her illness, while Lydia tells Haley that she needs to be strong for her sisters. An angry Taylor packs her bags and takes off, refusing to stay and watch Lydia die, and the ever-optimistic Quinn is similarly shattered at the thought of her mother’s death. After realizing that Lydia’s cancer is in fact, untreatable, Haley spirals as she tries to shoulder the burden of keeping her sisters together.
Once Haley is forced to accept that Lydia’s days are numbered, she becomes frantic as she tries to absorb every piece of wisdom from her mother before she is taken from her. This sense of unfairness and fear leads to Haley becoming angry with the world for making her mother sick, and angry at herself for being utterly incapable of doing anything about it. With regard to Haley’s anger, something thatOne Tree Hilldid well was not shying away from the ugliness that can come out of us when we experience intense loss. Haley’s sadness is not all soft sobs and comforting hugs, as she lashes out at her family members and loses her sense of self. Her husband, Nathan (James Lafferty), and son, Jamie (Jackson Brundage), are supportive and patient as Haley becomes increasingly resentful and despondent. However, we can still see the toll that her grief has on those around her as the glue that once held their family together falls apart in front of them. Nathan admits to feeling lost and explains how he fears that he has taken Haley’s stability and strength for granted in the past.
Throughout the series, Haley is often seen as a grounding force and voice of reason for her loved ones. She is reasonable, thoughtful, and a reliable shoulder to cry on. Because of these traits, her family and friends often rely on her strength and dependability. However, she is also a deeply passionate and caring person. This dichotomy is part of what makes her such a great character. Whenever she acts impulsively, such as when she marries Nathan in high school or goes on tour with Chris Keller, it is always a choice that is fueled by emotion. This is what makes it so jarring when Haley’s grief becomes so all-consuming that she becomes too emotionally drained to allow herself to feel anything at all.
While Haley was initially in action mode trying to save her mom, after Lydia dies, the shock sets in as Haley realizes the gravity of what she’s lost. We watch her devastation turn to numbness as she drowns her sorrows in alcohol and calls her mother’s voicemail, and then we watch as her numbness turns to recklessness when she sets fire to her piano and purposefully lets herself fall into the pool. Nathan is left literally pulling her back from the edge multiple times, but he never fails to reinforce that no matter how bad it gets, he’s going to be there for her. Haley eventually begins attending therapy and she rediscovers her will to keep going. This is significant in showing that while Haley was lucky enough to have a support system to encourage her and keep her safe throughout her depression, at the end of the day, she had to decide to heal for herself.
When her friends embark on a trip to Utah some time later, she reluctantly agrees to go with them because she knows how badly her son wants to go. While there, Haley’s sister, Quinn, discusses their mother’s belief in reincarnation and Quinn says that she believes that Lydia would reincarnate as a beautiful, sarcastic, and majestic owl. Haley doesn’t share her sister’s faith that their mother will return to them until she later encounters an owl that looks her in the eye and doesn’t shy away from her touch.
Invigorated by this encounter, Haley shows a real smile for the first time in weeks, and later that night tells Nathan that she’s pregnant with their second child, a daughter they eventually name Lydia. Haley tells Nathan that while she’s not okay right now, she will be someday. As we know, healing is not linear and grief comes in waves, and the writers didn’t pretend that Haley’s issues would magically disappear just because she was beginning to see the light again. In the season following her mother’s death, Haley goes on to volunteer at a crisis hotline to try and help people like her who deal with mental health struggles, showing another step in her healing as she is able to access her pain and use it to connect with others.
Ultimately, whatOne Tree Hillshowed us through Haley’s grief is that there is no right way to deal with it. When faced with the horrifying enormity of losing someone we love, everything is scary and nothing makes sense. Through Haley’s outrage, devastation, and self-isolation, we are shown how grief has many faces and can turn us into someone we don’t recognize. While Lydia’s death left an indelible mark on Haley’s heart, this storyline showed us that even in the hardest moments of our lives, we can find flashes of hope that remind us that eventually, we will be okay.
