Monica Garciais the newest snowflake holder onThe Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, and fans are feeling mixed about her. On the one hand, she is funny, frank, and unafraid to say whatever she has to say, whenever she has to say it. On the other hand, she has hot-headed tendencies, which lead to over-reactions at the wrong moment. Her behavior on the show has left fans divided: some think she is a brat, while others are able to empathize with her due to the issues she has with her mother. Childhood trauma has a severe effect on what kind of adults children grow to become, and Monica’s trauma is front and center this season. Fans are known to be unforgiving, but perhaps it’s time they take a seat and give Monica some grace.
This season ofRHOSLChas not held back. The ladies came in hot after a very contentious third season, and every attempt to mend those deep wounds has only managed to create new ones. Adding Monica into the mix has definitely added to this drama. Monica’s main thing is that she is honest to a fault. And while her honesty can be unnecessary and loud, there are elements of good in them, at least on occasion. Monica rubbedLisa Barlowthe wrong way immediately while also hurting her friendship withAngie K. during the Palm Springs trip when she tookMeredith Marks' side at that disastrous dinner. Her behavior seems pretty wild to some, but we’ve recently gained more insight into her psyche, and now that we know more about her childhood, some of it makes a little more sense than before.
Monica Garcia Has Severe Mommy Issues, and She Knows It
In episode six, viewers were treated to an exciting scene at a nursing home with Monica, her mother, and her grandmother. During this, Monica shares details of her childhood and how her mother moved her around constantly, leading to her never feeling safe or stable. Now that she’s an adult, she is still in search of that stability. According toa study done through the MacArthur Foundation, Monica’s unresolved need for stability is valid, as moving around in early childhood too much can have a negative effect. According to the study,
“Frequent moves take a toll on children’s social-emotional well-being. At all ages, each additional move is associated with small declines in social skills and emotional and behavioral problems. Although the effects are small, these deficits can accumulate, leaving multiple movers at greater risk.”
She mentioned the lack of stability early on, but as the episode progressed, she divulged more information regarding the contentious relationship she had with her mother. She essentially shared that she is raising her daughters the opposite way she was raised, as she wants them to feel comfortable and safe with her emotionally. Emotional safety in a parent-child relationship is incredibly important. Accordingto an article from the UK-based Private Therapy Clinic,
“Being raised by an emotionally unavailable parent or guardian can lead to a life of unstable friendships, strings of failed relationships, emotional neediness, an inability to self-regulate, provide for yourself, and identity confusion. This can also create core wounding around not being able to constructively express your needs.”
The kind of emotional trauma that Monica faced is doing good for her daughters in the sense that she takes extra care in her parenting, but it is still clearly a burden to her. And, while no one can make any assumptions about how she’s coped with these issues, it seems she has not sought therapy to deal with these problems head-on. This guess is safe when looking at the effects of emotionally unavailable parents. The Private Therapy Clinic states,
“When there’s been neglect of emotional needs in early childhood, it’s known as developmental trauma, which can lead to long-term effects if not properly addressed.
Some of these symptoms include:
Looking at Monica’s behavior, especially during the Easter party, she has displayed every single one of these long-term effects within all 7 episodes of the season so far.
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Does Monica Garcia’s Trauma Excuse Her Brash Behavior?
The lack of reason behind Monica’s zero-to-100 behavior makes absolute sense when looking through the lens of childhood trauma. Trauma that is still being triggered by her mother, as seen on the show. Monica’s mother is, frankly, an awful person, according to many viewers. She laughed in her daughter’s face twice on camera while Monica attempted to share her feelings. She went above and beyond to make herself look good during the Easter party rather than actually trying to defuse the situation. She openly admitted to saying things no mother who claims to love their child would ever say and had no remorse whatsoever.
So, given what is now known about Monica’s past, does she deserve a little more grace? Yes and no. Her volatilely reactive behavior makes sense from a psychological standpoint, but as a general adult, one would think she’d figured out some way to emotionally regulate. This does not appear to be the case. Since the episode aired, she and the other housewives have been hitting social media hard, fighting and tweeting in a petty way. Monica has been alleging that more happened at the party than what was shown in the episode, including a fall down the stairs and a trip to the ER. Sheposted pictures on X, formerly known as Twitter, showing bruisingon her legs and threatening legal action. There have been other petty social media fights as well, includingsomething regarding Monica lying about her last name, at least according to Lisa Barlow. Whether this is true or not, time will tell. What is certain is that Monica’s childhood trauma is very real, and as huge fans of therapy, we hope she seeks out healthy ways to address that trauma.
