With 25 movies spanning six decades, the British super spyJames Bondhas brought unforgettable wit and flirtation to the big screen,delivered by actors ranging from the suaveSean Conneryto the intenseDaniel Craig. Each actor has left their mark on the role, bringing their own unique style to Bond’s famous lines, which often balance sophistication, charm, and just the right touch of suggestive humor. Across the years, Bond’s smart, innuendo-filled exchanges have become hallmarks of his character, turning ordinary dialogue into moments of playful intrigue that make him an iconic character.
These cleverly crafted quips are far more than mere flirtation; they add layers to Bond’s persona, emphasizing his quick wit and unbreakable cool even in the tensest of situations. However, not all Bonds are created the same. As the more serious versions of the spy,Timothy DaltonandDaniel Craig’s versions did not have many opportunities to crack this type of lines. Nevertheless, the rest of the incarnations have a lot of fun deploying their license to tease.
10"You may need this to play with your asp."
‘Octopussy’ (1983)
The titleOctopussyis already an innuendo in itself and it is a small miracle that it was even allowed back in the 1980s. It should not be questioned that the movie intends to deliver more innuendos. One of them occurs when James Bond, played byRoger Moorein his sixth outing, arrives in India following a clue that leads to an exiled Afghan Prince, Kamal Khan (Louis Jordan). Upon his arrival, Bond is greeted by Vijay (Vijay Amritraj, an Indian professional tennis player), his contact who goes undercover as a snake charmer playing his theme song in one of the franchise’s few meta moments.
As he’s escorted to the hotel to change into formal attire to attend Khan’s event, Bond reminds Vijay to take hispungi, the pipe instrument used to lure snakes, saying “You may need this to play with your asp”. Vijay has previously returned the asp to the real snake charmer, so Bond is referring to a figurative “asp”. It is such a throwaway line and audiences do not even see Vijay’s expression to that line, but it shows Moore’s Bond as someone who is quick-witted and cannot resist cracking such jokes in any kind of situation.
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9"Well, providing the collar and cuffs match…"
‘Diamonds Are Forever’ (1971)
Sean Conneryreturns as James Bond once again afterGeorge Lazenby’s sole adventure inDiamonds Are Forever. With most of the team returning from the hitGoldfinger, such as directorGuy Hamilton,cinematographerTed Mooreand singerShirley Bassey,this movie was Connery’s last official hurrah beforeRoger Mooresucceeded him.
The film has plenty of memorable lines, but one of the more unexpected and memorable line was uttered when Tiffany Case (Jill St. John) reentered the room with a new brunette wig, which puzzled Bond because she was blonde when they first met. Case then asked which one Bond prefers, to which Bond answered nonchalantly, “Well, providing the collars and cuffs match…” Case closed the conversation by saying they would talk about that later. In a classic Bond way, eventually they do.
Diamonds Are Forever
8"I’m sure we’ll be able to lick you into shape"
‘Live and Let Die’ (1973)
Live and Let DieisRoger Moore’s first Bond film and here, Bond was paired with a new CIA agent Rosie Carver, played byGloria Henrywho was the first Black Bond girl in the series. But she was jittery and panicking, especially when she saw a snake in the room, to which she exclaimed that she should not have gotten into this business and that she would be completely useless. Trying to calm her, Bond said in his classic suave and flirty manner, “I’m sure we’ll be able to lick you into shape”.Carver was eventually revealed to be a double agentand she was counting on Bond to walk to her trap.
Live and Let Dieis a solid entry in the franchise and a great introduction to Moore, who put his own spin as Bond with his expressive eyebrows and playful manner, while keeping the true character intact. His movies are often perfect for their time, so it is no wonder he had his Walther PPK six more times after this.
Live and Let Die
7"Just a slight stiffness coming on…"
‘On Her Majesty’s Secret Service’ (1969)
With only one movie to his name,George Lazenbyhas the distinction of starring in one of the most influential Bond movies of all time.On Her Majesty’s Secret Servicehas been praised for its timeless theme and stunning action. It also allows Bond to insert an erection joke that became somewhat a staple. The scene takes place in a Swiss Alps facility where Bond has dinner with Blofeld’s 12 Angels of Death. One of whom wrote her room number on his bare leg, triggering an awkward reaction from Bond and an inquisitive question from Blofeld’s henchwoman. Bond casually responds, “Just a slight stiffness coming on. Due to the altitude, no doubt”.
This variation of the joke appears in other Bond movies as well. InDiamonds Are Forever,Bond is heard exclaiming “I’m afraid you’ve caught me with more than my hands up”. InA View to Kill,Bond proudly states that he’s “an early riser,” while inDie Another Day,he assures the instructor before a fencing match that he is “known to keep his tip up”.
On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
6"I thought Christmas comes just once a year."
‘The World Is Not Enough’ (1999)
After defeating the final bad guy whointends to monopolize the world’s gas pipeline, Bond and Christmas Jones (Denise Richards), the nuclear physicist he rescued, are nowhere to be found. With R’s (Q’s successor played byJohn Cleese) heat signature imaging, the MI6 locates him in a room, appearing to be lying on a bed. M (Judi Dench) inquires the whereabouts of Dr. Jones, who was supposed to be with Bond, while his heat signature gets even hotter. His figure then appears to be moving, revealing another figure under him, leading to M’s bewilderment.
The scene then cuts to Bond and Jones in the room, where Bond exclaims that he was wrong about her. Confused by it, Dr. Jones asks why. Then Bond breaks his promise to not make Christmas jokes and delivers one of the most memorable lines in the franchise, while staying true to the series' playfulness with Bond girls' names, “I thought Christmas only comes once a year”. They continue kissing passionately andThe World is Not Enoughends on a high note.
The World is Not Enough
5"Going down, one should always be relaxed"
‘Never Say Never Again’ (1983)
Sean Conneryreturned once again as Bond in an unofficial film,Never Say Never Againas it was not produced by Albert Broccoli and Harry Saltzman’s Eon Productions. The film itself is a remake ofThunderballand it was even released in the same year asOctopussy. Despite its status as a practically illegitimate entry, the character James Bond is still the same, especially with Connery bringing his magnetic gravitas.
In one scene in particular, Bond encounters Fatima Blush (Barbara Carrera), an assassin working for SPECTRE, in the Bahamas. As Blush volunteers to show Bond all the best places to dive, they go together in Blush’s boat. Inspecting the boat, Bond is surprised at how well-equipped the boat is. Flirting, Blush responded that Bond is also well-equipped. Bond then answers, “going down, one should always be relaxed”. Bond definitely does not mean diving, and they do make love before going underwater.
Never Say Never Again
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4"I think he’s attempting re-entry, sir."
‘Moonraker’ (1979)
MoonrakersendsJames Bond into space, capitalizing on the popularity of sci-fi movies likeStar Wars. He faces off against Hugo Drax who aims to kill everyone on Earth and replace them with select people from his space station. In this adventure, Bond is aided by an American scientist/CIA agent named Holly Goodhead—“I’m sure you are,” says Bond—played byLois Chiles.
The movie’s best innuendo came after Bond successfully completed his mission with Goodhead and the MI6 is wondering about his location. Bond and Goodhead are found in the spaceship Moonraker 5, and the ground team obtain video access only to find Bond and the American agent making love in zero gravity. One of the bosses asked, “What is Bond doing?” and Q (Desmond Llewlyn), answers “I think he’s attempting re-entry, sir.” Q may be referring to the trajectory of the spaceship, or something else.
3"Well, tell him to pull out. Immediately!"
‘The Spy Who Loved Me’ (1977)
When British and Soviet submarines vanish, the MI6 requires its best agent.The agency head M(Bernard Lee) asks Moneypenny of his whereabouts, and she reports that he is on a mission in Austria. Then M sternly orders, “Well, tell him to pull out. Immediately!” The movie then cuts to Bond ‘in action’ with a blonde girl in a log cabin.
Moore’s third outing as 007,The Spy Who Loved Mearguably has the most memorable innuendos in the franchise. Said log cabin girl who enjoys her time with Bond says that she couldn’t find the words, to which Bond says, “Let me try to enlarge your vocabulary” before kissing her passionately. When caught in bed with Agent XXX (Barbara Bach) from the rival KGB, Bond simply says that he’s “keeping the British end up”. No wonderAustin Powerstook inspiration from this movie for one of its titles.
The Spy Who Loved Me
2"My name is Pussy Galore"
‘Goldfinger’ (1964)
James Bond movies are never complete without the Bond women andGoldfingersets an unimaginably high standardfor naming them.Sean Connery’s James Bond is asleep when a lady played byHonor Blackmanpulls into focus. She introduces herself, “My name is Pussy Galore”. Half-awake, Bond can only respond with a smile, “I must be dreaming”.
It’s a minor wonder that the name could pass censorship at the time, even though its name could not be used in the posters or promotional materials for a good reason. The character was only introduced as ‘Miss Galore’ or ‘Goldfinger’s personal pilot’. Nevertheless, it is responsible for giving way to iconic names in subsequent years, such as Plenty O’Toole, Xenia Onatopp, and the aforementioned Holly Goodhead.
Goldfinger
1"You always were a cunning linguist, James."
Tomorrow Never Dies (1997)
Tomorrow Never Diesboasts the most fun exchanges between Pierce Brosnan’s James Bond andMoneypenny, played bySamantha Bond(no relation to the spy). It all starts when Bond is called back to duty, and he picks up the call during a steamy session with a Danish girl. Asked about his whereabouts, Bond cheekily replied that he’s up there at Oxford brushing up on a little Danish. Moneypenny, no stranger to this banter, quickly responded, “You always were a cunning linguist, James.” A great wordplay on one of Bond’s strengths.
Upon his return to MI6, Bond is tasked to gather information about the megalomaniacal news mogul Elliot Carver (Jonathan Pryce) through his wife Paris Carver (Teri Hatcher), whom Bond has a past relationship with. Specifically, M asked him to “pump her for information”, to which Moneypenny adds “you just have to decide how much pumping is needed, James.” Now, who’s the actual cunning linguist in the literal sense here?
